7.01.2007

How Not To Screw Up...

I came across an article recently about 10 dating disasters and immediately thought of what so many Realtors do incorrectly (or "do wrong" if you're here in the South). I thought I would modify the typical dating lists to read "What Not To Do Before or On The First Meeting With a Client" or in short "How Not To Screw Up..."

1. Do not have someone Photoshop your picture to smooth your skin, remove your double chin or give you hair. When your client meets you, they will be very uncomfortable because their insides will shake with laughter. If you're ugly, so what? It's a misconception that people hire Realtors based on their most recent mission to Plasticsurgeryville.

2. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt on a first meeting, no matter how Rico Suave you are. Remember, Hawaiian shirt wearing is for the exclusive few that are (a) Hawaiian, (b) on vacation, (c) are fat and middle aged, or (d) my father.

3. When a local broadcaster or someone of local fame calls you, don't rent an ultra-luxurious car and claim yours is in the shop! If you're sportin' an Escort, just give it a bath and let your client know you intend to roll the Escort until the wheels fall off (oh and make sure it smells nice, no one likes day old catfish leftover smell).

4. Don't let your cell phone get in the way of your Realtor mojo. If you can't have a first meeting without gabbing on your phone (and everyone is SO guilty of this), turn the dang thing to silent. Have a general VM that says "I am currently meeting with a valued client, but I have a great habit of checking my voicemail the moment I get into my car, so don't worry- you'll hear from me soon!" If you appear to love your Star Trek bluetooth more than the precious time with your client, you may never hear from them again.

5. Don't be late. Period. You are not the only one who values time and if you are late to a first meeting (or well, to any) it is a great sign of disrespect. Plan on being 15 minutes early, finish phone calls in the car and approach the door of your meeting destination right on time. When you are late, you explicitly tell your client that you are the center of the universe, they should bow because you have entered a room, and you believe that their time and business is of no consequence to you (unless that's how you see it).

6. Don't over promise. This is the cardinal sin in Real Estate, especially during listing presentations. If you don't have a guarantee (see Russell Shaw's website), don't promise a home will sell in 6.34 days. Don't promise to be "available at all times" when you know you don't answer the phone when it's dark, the game is on, you're napping or you're at your "day job" (which should be #7, but I'll be nice).

7. You are not Oprah. Keep your bragging to a minimum. Bragging and presenting yourself in a factual manner are different matters. For example, "I'm Austin's best Realtor" is lame, try "In this subdivision, I sold one out of every two listings last year." At a first meeting, you are likely applying for a job with that client, so don't bog down the "interview" with inflating or stroking your own ego. Don't be bragadocious.

8. Don't badmouth the competition. Dogging on other Realtors (typically local competitors) online can get you in deep dookie here in Texas, but doing it in person is just low. When someone talks about their past Realtor (operative word being "past" aka non-threatening, so shut up), refocus the conversation casually to you or their current home situation rather than noting "yeah, he's an a-hole, he spilled a drink on me at this massive party just after admitting that he doesn't work weekends and he dresses in drag when he's alone." Muy mal.

9. Don't be inappropriate. This includes the joke about the dumb Aggie (they probably went to A&M, poor guy), the racist joke (their absent spouse is likely of that race), the Pope joke (I'm probably Catholic), or the handicap joke (their mom is probably paralyzed). It's not the time or place. Making dirty jokes, using crude language, any physically inappropriate gestures or otherwise can actually put your career at risk and there's nothing funny I can say about that. Don't be an idiot- you're probably not as funny as you think anyhow.

10. My favorite- don't be cute. This applies mostly to you guys out there aged 40-55 who are clinging to that last hope that you are as cute as you were when you were president of your frat way back when. If your kids are in their 20s, I'm begging you- don't flirt with your 25 year old female client- she's not interested. Trying to bring sexy back during a first meeting can ultimately screw things up.


Now it's your turn- start adding to the list beginning with #11...

13 comments:

Greg Swann said...

Utterly brilliant. A delight from start to finish.

AUSTIN REALTOR'S WIFE said...

Thanks, Greg! :) Happy 1 year again (or 7 since you're a dog)!

B.R. said...

Really really great article...

AUSTIN REALTOR'S WIFE said...

Thanks, honey!

jeff Brown said...

Bawldy material!

And by the way? I resent #2! :)

Chris Lengquist said...

Regarding #6 - I explain to all my clients that if they should try and call during any and all Jayhawk Basketball games - includinig but not limited to televised practices, meaningless games and shows discussing the possiblity of a game being on television - that they will only receive a voice mail. And it's best to check the score shortly after the game before calling me with something touchy as the outcome will have much weight as to how I will handle the problem.

AUSTIN REALTOR'S WIFE said...

Jeff- #2 is a big one! :) Don't hate the player, hate the game (I think that's what they say).

Chris- forward to an assistant! If no assistant, do you have a specific vm for game days? (Look, I'm in Texas... UT Football is life, so I TOTALLY understand!)

Joe Peffer said...

While you're not being braggadocious, be quiet. My typical first meeting will involve a sit down chat and a couple showings.

We'll usually hit it off at the sit down chat and I'll get a quick sense of what they want in a house and what they're like but I have to stifle the jokes about the
-Wallpaper, floors, curtains, pictures, floor plan, roof condition, etc. etc.

Maybe my new clients love shag, dark paneling and gold faucets so until I know them and their likes and dislikes better, I don't go there and either should you.

You've got a great voice/style ARW. I'm a long time lurker, first time commenter, keep up the great blog.

AUSTIN REALTOR'S WIFE said...

'Bout time you threw in your 2 cents, Joe! Thanks for putting in the ante!

Great point about getting to know your clients. Jokes etc. are REQUIRED by some clients (who are smart alecs like me), but like you said, don't assume...

Jane said...

Hilarious - and so true! I can apply the "don't be inappropriate" one to a couple of agents I know -- coarse humor and off-color jokes have no place in a professional situation.

Norm Fisher said...

Priceless! Some great advice. Regarding #10 and your advice to men between 40 and 55; are you suggesting the chicks will dig us again when we're much older or that we'll finally learn after 15 years of rejections? :)

AUSTIN REALTOR'S WIFE said...

Jane- ditto.

Norm- chicks will dig you again when THEY are much older :)

Mark Harrison said...

Don't smoke!

While some clients are quite happy to light up 80 a day and have homes that smell like a 1950s movie set, others can't stand the smell, and have homes that smell like ad advert from an air freshener commercial.

The smell does linger on clothes, so if possible don't smoke during the day before seeing a client.