What's A Bawldy?

So, this week, Realtor Wives achieved a highly sought after milestone- earning a Bawldy! What's a Bawldy? Well, Jeff Brown at BawldGuy.com links daily to his choice of the best Real Estate articles of the day, and "How Not To Screw Up" was named in his list of the bestest blogs. We all know that he had to name others in his daily awards show, but he'll tell you that we take the cake.

In honor of this award, we decided to give Jeff an equally impressive award- the Realtor Wives Hairy Award! Jeff, I know you've dreamt of having the Ashton Kutcher 'do, so we had a fabulous local graphic artist (also known as my dad) create a wonderful image of Bawldy with Hair. Please enjoy!

We are accepting nominations for other bald or balding Realtors that deserve hair- we can (and will) award Hair but only on a need-basis; submit your nominations today!

To Capthca or NOT To Captcha

Many of us (myself included) opt to include the captcha so that the spambots can't infiltrate our beautiful blogs. I'm on Google's Blogger, and I've learned that Blogger sometimes cops an attitude and insults its users... seriously.

Check it out here and consider if you still want to feature captchas on your site...

Making Memories

Today, the kiddos had their last day of school and Memorial Day Weekend begins- hooray! Realtor Wives will be "closed" this weekend (as if there is such a thing in the blogosphere). Don't be fooled if you see me on your Blog Log, I can't help myself.

However, tomorrow we will be going (1) swimming, (2) to the library and (3) beginning a family scrapbook. That's just tomorrow, so thank you for understanding the need to MAKE MEMORIES this weekend.

Be safe and remember those who have given their lives for us. Celebrate this weekend and make your OWN memories!

Going Green

In honor of Mother Earth and the "Keep Austin Weird" slogan, I have decided to make our home a little more environmentally friendly. As resident OCD wife/mother, it is my mission to keep our home model-clean at all times, but in honor of hugging trees, I will do the following and hope you will do the same:

1. Save electricity by using the powerful Ubervac less frequently- it really sucks up the watts!

2. Save water by doing less dishes. For example, I should drain pasta through my fingers instead of dirtying a dish- who needs finger skin? It'll be good for the planet!

3. I will dust less frequently because Dust Bunnies are creatures of the Earth and it is cruel to murder them and not allow their repopulation.

4. The lawn will no longer be mowed, weeded and edged twice a week because of the use of gasoline and power. Honey, I'm sure you're sad about this one...

5. No laundry will be tossed in the dryer- it will be hung to dry and I will use one of those 1890's flat iron insted of my Super Steamer Iron. Plus, the wrinkled look is in, so now we'll be super chic.

This all may sound lazy but it really is for Mother Earth. In all seriousness, Yahoo has launched a "Be A Better Planet Campaign," Check it out here, don't forget to point your clients toward energy saving methods, and DO NOT take Austin Realtor's Wife's advice listed above!

Today's Reading

Today, I command suggest the following articles, they are TOTALLY awesome:

Why McDiscounts are NOT EVER a good idea!

How to relate ANYTHING to baseball (or you could call this one, "Sound Investment Truths")

Why Jesus died on the cross so you could put up an Open House signyou should feel lucky to freely put up an Open House sign...

Why NOT to buy a home today!

If you take a bad MLS shot, it WILL be on Athol's page!

How to stage your desk to look organized AND busy!

If you're not on the list, go ahead and send your hate mail to my personal email. HAVE FUN!

How to Becalm a Milun-err...

Oldie but goodie- you KNOW you have two minutes for Tommy Vu... don't accept "discudgement frum friends and stranger [sic] who ah loosah," say "git ayway, loossah!"

Top 20 Cures for Office Boredom

Since most bloggers use their time when not with clients or marketing to blog, you won’t relate, but SOME Realtors/Mortgage folk have down time in the office… however, these are awesome cures for potential boredom:

1. Remove the jug from the water cooler and drink from it periodically, bragging that you 'got the last one.'

2. Photocopy things around the office, such as lamps, potted plants, staplers, etc. If someone asks about it, just say 'You never can be too careful.'

3. Hide around corners, jump out to scare people as they pass and try not to get a black eye (I actually like doing this one around Single Pointe Realty in Austin)!

4. Pretend to be hypnotized by someone's screen saver.

5. Go into someone's office, grab a book from their shelves, and begin reading it aloud to them. If they interrupt, give them an evil look.

6. Give your assistant a copy of Hamlet and ask them to proofread it.

7. Use a hole punch to punch holes in all your outgoing mail. Explain that the holes 'make it more aerodynamic'.

8. Bring a lawnmower into the office and pretend to mow the carpet.

9. Bring a TV remote control to the office and try to 'change the channel' on people's computers. When it doesn't work, mumble something about 'cheap Japanese crap.'

10. Pull a chair up to your window and pretend to be working at a drive-through.

11. Stand at the washroom door carrying a baseball bat and ask everyone in a low voice if they washed their hands.

12. Gnaw on your mouse, make cat noises, and lick your hands from time to time.

13. Walk into people's offices, taking a careful look around. Talk into your shirt, saying 'No sign of him yet, Chief.'

14. When the phone rings, answer by saying 'KBBL, you're on the air.'

15. Proudly show everyone your calculator and hand out cigars. Tell them your computer just had a baby.

16. Paint your face blue and start searching around in people's desk drawers. Ask them if they've seen your pills.

17. Turn your radio up full blast and sing along loudly with the song. Invite others to join you.

18. Build a fire pit out of cinder blocks in the staff room. Place a stack of firewood in the corner, along with matches, lighter fluid, hot dogs, and marshmallows.

19. Place a row of liquor bottles on your desk, and a sign on your door which reads 'NO COVER!' Announce loudly that it's happy hour.

20. Get in the elevator and pretend to hold the door open for invisible people.

(partially adapted from humor.com and the odd imagination of Austin Realtor’s Wife)

So What? I'm a Grammar Nerd...

So this is just a rant about my “Grammar Feelings.” I have an English Degree from the University of Texas, and I often hear things that grate on my every last nerve (even when I go back and read my own mindless writing).

Mistakes that I hate and demand cease in the online community at once:

*Bad: “I did good on that tour.” Good: “I did well on that tour.”
This is the most flagrant offense in the book- I command thee to use adverbs appropriately (bonus points for anyone who can point out the adverb in this sentence).

*Bad: “The sign was put on it’s side.” Good: “The sign was put on its side.”
When the apostrophe is present, it is used as a substitute for a letter, therefore “it’s” exclusively means “it is.”

*Bad: “Its obvious that I can’t.” Good: “It’s obvious that I can’t.”

*Bad: “I always loose my keys.” Good: “I always lose my keys.”
I LOVE reading this one- loose is reserved for a street walker or a big blouse.

*Bad: “I moved over their.” Good: “I moved over there.”
“There” refers to a location, “their” refers to something belonging to another group of people.

*Bad: “It’s you’re fault we are late.” Good: “It’s your fault we are late.”
This is a repetitive lesson- apostrophes are used as substitutes for letters, so “you’re” ALWAYS means “you are.”

*Bad: “I could of finished.” Good: “I could have finished.” I blame this on the buck-toothed goons that have butchered the language. If you need an explanation on this, please go back to third grade, rinse and repeat.

I could go on forever! I was 15 when I corrected my then-stepmother when she said to my little brother “oh, you did so good on that!” I had never spoken back to my parents but I couldn’t take it any more- I said, “you mean ‘you did well on that.’” She was furious and I told her that I was embarrassed and didn’t want people to hear her and think I come from an ignorant family. When she begged my father (who has the same grammar sensitivities) to intervene, he simply supported me by saying, “she’s right.”

The problem is that we are living in a virtual E-World with its own rules and regulations, all of which have become acceptable (see my UT transcript featuring a course on “Internet Ethics and the Online Evolution”- oh yeah, it’s really a class). So, Internet Users, I’ll agree to conform by occasionally typing “sup? I miss you guys ‘cuz u rock!,” as long as you all take a five minute grammar lesson, stop saying “I did good,” and STOP hurting my Grammar Feelings.

Oh, and I’ll head you off at the pass and ask that comments be based on (1) all grammar mistakes made in this blog and (2) any new lessons you’ve learned. L8r, yo!